Thursday, December 10, 2015

Coming out of the geek closet

So recently my dear mother told me I have become "the person I use to make fun of".  Now, I may have made fun of people for playing D&D before, but now that I've put my ego aside, I wouldn't be opposed to trying it. If you've never heard my story on what I call "coming out of the geek closet" here it is for you.
I was thinking one day if I was really as geeky as I though I was, or if it was just a phase. I started thinking about how I wasn't really the average girl. I wasn't ever into playing barbies as much as my sisters were, I was more likely to be playing Oregon Trail and Where in the World is Carmen SanDiego on the computer. I wasn't ever into doing my make up, I was more likely to be playing in the dirt and sliding down a hill on a card board box in my besties back yard. I actually started wearing makeup when I got out of high school because I discovered I made more tips cutting hair. I never had a favorite Disney princess growing up, my favorite movie was Sword and the Stone, I was more of a King Arthur fan than a Princess fan. I remember playing Mario with the guys in High School, a few years later, playing bubble bobble with my boyfriend. Later came my World of Warcraft, and Guilwars 2 years. One of my girl friends showed me all the pretty elves I could play, and I was sold!
A few years ago I discovered cosplay! I've always loved to sew things and make costumes. I also discovered I had a real talent when I watched everyone's jaw drop to the floor as I was showing the prom dress I made as my senior project. To me, these kinds of things were second nature. Why wasn't it for everyone? The first Comic Con I attended, I decided to go big or go home! So I made a friend and I Batman and Robin dresses. They were a big hit! It was there I learned there were other people like me! I was so excited! A bunch of dorks who love to use their imaginations to create beautiful art and who like dorky thinks like Lord of the Rings, dragons, King Arthur, magic, fairies, elves, vampires, super heroes, time travel, etc. I love when I have an idea for a costume and I have no idea where it's going to take me, but every time, it turns out better than I ever imagined it would. I love walking around Comic Con and talking to admirers. I love admiring other cosplayers work and discovering similar interest with them as well. I love that I can walk through the doors at Comic Con, and not feel odd that I'm dressed as Ariel Boba Fett, but feel admired and loved. I always feel like I belong and I'm at home. These are my people!
I felt the same way when I played WoW, I had a guild, and although very few of us knew each other IRL (in real life), we were like sorta like a family too. I always loved talking to my fellow nerdlings and doing silly things like stealing everything out of the guild bank at midnight. Whoever says online friends aren't real, is mistaken. I've met several people online, knew them for years before meeting them in person, and they're still just as real online as they were in person!
Well since I've come out of the geek closet, I've learned it's ok to be me! I can be as geeky or nerdy as I want to be! And more importantly, the more I accept that, the more I love myself!!! I would love to still game, but I'm a single mom, I don't have time. Instead, we do things like make costumes and go to Comic Con together. We also watch things like Dr Who, Arrow, The Flash, etc together. She's much more into Princesses than I am though... I call it my mothers curse, she always said I'd have a girly girl. And that's ok too!